Uphill
Working on a creative endeavor is not a walk in the park. It's a hike.
Hey friends 👋,
This week was a tough one. I didn't hit my 1,000 words a day goal once. I've hit a wall.
Ironically, I think it's because I feel like there's so much I want to say. Too much maybe. Over the past few weeks, it's felt like the more I write the more I have left to write - which makes it really difficult to feel a sense of progress. It's as if I'm running laps on a track. I know logically that as I'm running my overall distance is increasing, but it still feels like I haven't left the starting line every time I complete a lap.
On top of that, I've been starting to feel a lot of imposter syndrome around whether I am skilled/qualified/informed enough to write this book. I've taken a pause from reading because I couldn't stop comparing myself and my work to the author's, and that felt unhealthy.
It's times like this that I try to remember that working on a creative endeavor like this is not a linear path. It looks more like a hill.
At the beginning of the project, you're flush with optimism and ready to take on the challenge. The Dunning-Krueger effect gives you a blind faith in yourself that helps you get started. Then, you start to realize just how steep this hill is. You begin to believe you're not capable of climbing it. You compare yourself to the goats who seem to defy the laws of physics as they climb next to you. For a long, long time it feels like you're on an infinite treadmill. Your body hurts. You're not having fun. And there's no end in sight.
As my high school english teacher (who's on this email list) likes to put it, this part of the process can feel like, "crawling uphill naked over barbed wire and broken glass. Hungry."
That's where I likely am right now. And the thing I need to remember - to believe - is that the uphill will end. All I have to do is keep doing the work.
That being said, if any of you have words of encouragement or advice for someone on this part of the journey, I'd love to hear it 😅!
You all rock my socks. I hope you and yours are well and that this week has been kind to your dreams.